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Josh Knox

Just Joshin' #101 (Disappointment)

Published 29 days ago • 4 min read

1 Family Photo:
Disappointment

The SLO Railroad Museum is only open on Saturdays.

Calvin knows it is only open in Saturdays. His first question when he wakes up in the morning is often, "Is today a Saturday?" by which he really means "Is the train museum open today? Can we go to the train museum today?" He's often disappointed to find out today is in fact not a Saturday, or even a weekend. We sometimes still go to the train museum when it is closed.

A couple weeks ago, due to a few wrong turns in a nearby city, we discovered another train museum.
Another train museum? Calvin was intrigued. He wanted to visit. But it was closed.

The Santa Maria Valley Railway Historical Museum is only open on 2nd & 4th Saturdays.

Our accidental train museum discovery was on a Sunday, a 2nd Sunday to be specific. So six days later, when Calvin woke up and asked "Is today a 2nd or 4th Saturday?" I had to let him down by explaining that, while it was a Saturday, it was only a 3rd Saturday and he'd have to wait another week to visit the train museum in Santa Maria.

He wasn't even interested in going to the regular train museum that day.

I think Calvin's calculus was that if one train museum is open 1/2 as much as another train museum it must be 2x as awesome as the other train museum. And he was willing to wait for that awesomeness. Scarcity creates value.

So a little after noon on March 23rd, 2024 (a 4th Saturday), we piled into our car to visit the Santa Maria train museum. Calvin asked Jeema and Grandpa to come too. While buckling him in, I overheard Calvin whisper to his stuffed penguin, "Today is a very special day." Then we drove 45 minutes to Santa Maria, with Jeema and Grandpa following in their own car.

And the Santa Maria train museum was still closed.

Hello disappointment.

"But why is it closed?" Calvin asked.

It turns out, sometimes a train museum is open 1/2 as much as another train museum because it has trouble with consistent staffing. This can be particularly true when the entire museum is "Seven guys who love trains and have collected 3 early 1900's train cars." This doesn't leave a lot of slack for overlapping responsibilities in case of emergencies.

Maybe we'll try again some other time.

The day wasn't ruined. After consoling some disappointment, we went to the Exploration Discovery Center…which also has trains.

(and is consistently open from 10:00-5:00, 6 days/week)

1 Dad Joke:
Political Promises

Why do horses make bad politicians?
Because they only vote “neigh”

*image by Dad[AI]Base​

Highlights:
Disappointing Thoughts

​Becoming the Parent You Want to Be — Dr. Becky Kennedy (YouTube)​

If someone can feel like their parents are able to tolerate their disappointment, then what the kid really learns is, like, I can still be me when I'm disappointed. I'm still a valuable person. This feeling clearly is an acceptable part of me. It's not all of me. I don't have to fight to get rid of it. That's really how we build confidence.

​Richard Feynman and The Connection Machine by W. Daniel Hillis​

When I got back to Boston I went to the library and discovered a book by Kimura on the subject, and much to my disappointment, all of our "discoveries" were covered in the first few pages. When I called back and told Richard [Feynman] what I had found, he was elated. "Hey, we got it right!" he said. "Not bad for amateurs."

​Dr. Becky Doesn’t Think the Goal of Parenting Is to Make Your Kid Happy by David Marchese​

People say to me, “How do I not have an entitled kid?” But entitlement, what does that mean? It’s the entitlement to not feel frustrated. Because when a kid is like, “You didn’t get me a first-class ticket,” it’s not that they expect “first class” so much as they feel that they shouldn’t have to be frustrated. It’s so easy to look at kids like that and think, What a [expletive] kid. But I would take the other side: That kid must be having a terrifying experience in their body to feel something that they’ve learned they should never feel. Using money to always avoid disappointment can lead to that. This is not, like, Families with money, poor you. But those parents almost have to think, Where is frustration built into my kid’s life? So that when those frustrating moments come, the kid’s body says, “Oh, this is part of living; I know how to do this” instead of, “This should not be happening; I have no skills to deal with it.” Which is actually very sad.

​Peter Thiel Is Taking a Break From Democracy by Barton Gellman​

He wishes the science were more advanced. No matter how fervent his desire, Thiel’s extraordinary resources still can’t buy him the kind of “super-duper medical treatments” that would let him slip the grasp of death. It is, perhaps, his ultimate disappointment. “There are all these things I can’t do with my money,” Thiel said.

​Commencement Address, American University in Beirut by Nassim Taleb​

I have a single definition of success: you look in the mirror every evening, and wonder if you disappoint the person you were at 18, right before the age when people start getting corrupted by life. Let him or her be the only judge; not your reputation, not your wealth, not your standing in the community, not the decorations on your lapel. If you do not feel ashamed, you are successful. All other definitions of success are modern constructions; fragile modern constructions.

​Smart Things Smart People Said by Morgan Housel​

“It’s good to have people in your life who you don’t want to disappoint.” – Warren Buffett

iamJoshKnox Highlight:

​On Travel​

I published some travel thoughts on my blog last week. 2 business trips this month is enough travel for a while (I hope). Too much time away from home can be...disappointing. I do look forward to more exploratory travel with Luana and the kids, hopefully there's some of that in the future too and we can have a chance to try out the frameworks and tools from my blogpost.

--
Also, my book is still available on Amazon here – or reply to this email and I'd love to gift you a copy.

Fancy a Chat?

Grab some time on my calendar to share a funny story from this week:

​Let's Chat!​

Book some time even if you don't know what you want to talk about:
​https://calendly.com/iamjoshknox​

Until next week,
​iamJoshKnox​​

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Josh Knox

Hi! I am Josh Knox. Read more of me here: 👇

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