1 Family Photo:
Important Meeting

I checked a box on his enrollment form, so Calvin had to take a language assessment test before starting school. Calvin is bilingual, though the state of California isn't concerned with how well he knows the Portuguese language—just "does he speak English good?"

--

The evening before his language assessment, we were walking home from the park. The girl across the street was with us. As they walked side by side, Calvin turned to the girl:

"You can hold my hand if you want," Calvin said.

And she did!

They held hands, walking down the block together in silence. A few steps later, Calvin turned to her again:

"I have an important meeting tomorrow,"

I wish I could have watched that conversation unfold. Instead, Lawrence tore up the moment, running alongside them and clasping the girl's other arm:

"Can you BELIEVE that JEAMA told me that SOME PEOPLE'S dogs sometimes POOP on other people's LAWNS?!?"

"Neat," said the girl across the street.

--

The next day, Luana and I drove Calvin to his English Language Proficiency Assessment for California—ELPAC, or 'The PAC' in Spanish.

The test wasn't given at Calvin's school but at another one across town. In a small room sharing a wall with the principal's office, an administrator introduced herself, explained the test, and showed Calvin how to punch his answers into a tiny computer screen.

The administrator then told Luana and me it was now our turn to leave the room. We'd had five years to coach Calvin to English proficiency, but apparently the state looks down on the possibility of additional proficiency coaching during the test.

This did not go well. Calvin hadn't expected to be left with a stranger in a strange room. We hadn't expected to leave Calvin with a stranger in a strange room. After significant mutual assurances, Luana and I exited to the hallway.

From the hallway, we could hear the testing progress:

The computer said a word.
Calvin picked a similar meaning word from a list.

The computer read a sentence.
Calvin clicked a picture it described.

The computer played a conversation of two kids deciding what to play during recess.

"What do you think the children should play?" asked the administrator.
"LEGO," answered Calvin, though LEGO wasn't any part of the recorded conversation.

"Why do you think that?" asked the administrator.
"Because you can stack them," Calvin responded.

I could picture Calvin smiling with his response, dreaming of returning home to build a train, or a house, or a school without language tests.

The administrator continued to her next question: "The boy in this picture is jumping—j-j-j-jumping. Can you write the letter J?"

"I don't think so," replied Calvin. "It looks like he's hopping—h-h-h-hopping."

--

It's an electronic test. We got the results almost as soon as we finished. The assessment is scored in three levels: 1-Novice English Learner, 2-Intermediate English Learner, and 3-Initial Fluent English Proficient. Calvin scored in Level 1.

According to the assessment, "Calvin has novice English skills and may be able to use known words and phrases to communicate meaning at a basic level." He is "beginning to develop," his oral and written language skills. Following this Initial ELPAC, "your child will take the Summative ELPAC until they are reclassified as fluent English proficient."

I'm not worried about the test results. I know they're wrong. I know I'm part of a long tradition of parents refusing to accept standardized test results, but when Calvin quizzes me with made up riddles ('What do you eat after you sleep? Breakfast!') I don't have any concerns with his English fluency. I don't plan for Calvin even to know about the assessment results until he reads this newsletter himself.

It just upsets me that when he retakes the test in the spring, and is reclassified as 'fluent English proficient', some education researcher will use this as evidence of schooling improving language proficiency. In Calvin's case, it will just be evidence of schooling improving his tolerance for being asked strange questions by strange people in strange rooms. Though, to be fair, that is a useful life skill for important meetings.

The complete assessment took 45 minutes. In relative terms, 45 minutes to a 5-year-old is the same as 6 hours to a 40-year-old. The assessment is only given to bilingual students. I wonder what the distribution of assessment scores would be for English-only kindergarteners.

--

In the eyes of the bureaucracy of the state of California, my son is not proficient in English.

Oh well.

If he can ask the girl across the street to hold his hand, then he's more proficient in English than I've been for most of my life.

1 Dad Joke:
Important Meeting Times

Highlights:
Important Meeting Notes

​Understanding Business Development by Seth Godin​

​The Tinkerings of Robert Noyce by Tom Wolfe​

​Operation Warp Speed: The Untold Story of the COVID-19 Vaccine by Joe Nocera​

​Life is Short by Paul Graham​

​103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known by Kevin Kelly​

iamJoshKnox Highlight:

If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy Chapter 11 of my book—Productive Meeting Tips!

An excerpt:

Available on Amazon here—or reply and I'd love to gift you a copy.

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Until next week,
​iamJoshKnox​​

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