Just Joshin' #126 (Help)
1 Family Photo:
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"I have to get lots and lots of rest tonight and eat a healthy breakfast in the morning," Calvin says as I pick him up from school.
"Oh really! Why's that?" I ask.
"Tomorrow, I'm the helper."
Each day, Calvin's class has a different student helper.
The student helper turns the lights on/off, and passes out papers, and organizes the class line as they walk to and from the playground. There are 24 students in Calvin's class. There are 180 days in the school year. Each student will be the helper 7-8 times.
I don't know if they know that yet. Maybe they'll sort it out when they get deeper into their arithmetic unit.
I like the idea of student helper. Kids want to help—let them help!
Adults too. We all want to help.
In fact, one counterintuitive way to get someone to like you is to ask them to do you a favor. This is known as the Ben Franklin effect. It was a favored tactic of the colonial statesman. A theory is that doing the favor creates cognitive dissonance in the mind of the helper. Their internal dialogue thinks: "I'd only do a favor for someone I like...so I must like this person."
My personal theory of friendship is that we do small favors for each other, small favors escalate to big favors, and eventually we lose the score and just count each other as friends.
--
I've been told my help isn't helpful sometimes. Sometimes, it's even the opposite.
That hurts.
l don't want to be unhelpful.
But this is helpful feedback. We can only help people where they're open to help. We have to love people in ways they want to be loved. Loving people on our own terms might not be love at all. We have to study how we can be helpful.
We're all student helpers.
1 Dad Joke:
Helpful Advice
If you can't think of a word say, 'I forget the English word for it.'
That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
*image by Dad[AI]Base
**quote from unattributed image with lots of social media reposts.
Highlights:
Be a Helper
Tide In, Tide Out: On Growing Old and Making Peace with Death by Anne Lamott
Obituary for a Quiet Life by Jeremy B. Jones
They’re taking out the trash before we notice and walking up the road to see if the mail’s come. They’re showing us how to lay out the biscuit dough at just the right thickness. They took our sons up on the tractor on spring afternoons. They helped the neighbor with the busted sink. They jumped in the river to pull an 18-month-old out. They caught the man who’d been pinned by the forklift, his back broken, and held him as he died. They slipped money into their nephew’s pocket when he hadn’t a penny to his name but was too ashamed to admit it. They did the laundry. They swept the floor. They played in the yard like a kid. They ate a pack of saltines and climbed into bed night after night until there were no more nights, only all the people left behind who’d carry on living because making a little life on a piece of land off Fruitland Road is about the holiest thing we can think of.
Why I am not a Quaker by Ben Hoffman
12 Truths I learned from Life and Writing by Anne Lamott (again)
Rules for small twin boys in a bathroom by Brian Doyle
2. Keep pointing it down.
3. Dad does all wiping.
4. Keep pointing it down even if you're sure you're done.
5. Most important of all: each boy points his own pointer. No helping.
Can I help my brother?
No.
6. If spilling occurs, tell Dad.
7. No washing hands without Dad.
8. No washing anything without Dad.
9. No, you cannot pee in the bathtub.
10. Yes, you can pee in the bushes outside. This is Oregon, for heaven's sake. Go ahead and pee like race horses, boys.
11. No, you can't pee in the car, even if it's parked near the bushes.
12. Yes, Dad has a pointer.
13. No, Mom does not have a pointer.
14. No, I don't know where mom's pointer went.
15. No, I don't know if God has a pointer.
16. Yes. God would point it down if he had a pointer.
17. Yes. God could point it down without using his hands.
18. No, I don't know who wipes God. Ask your mother.
iamJoshKnox Highlight:
Ask For Help
Can you do me a favor?
If you have time, I'm working on a couple essay drafts and I'd love your feedback:
4 Running Lies I Was Told in PE
Reflections on running and a family running event from last month. This is mostly polished up, but would like to make sure the writing is clear. Is there anything you think I should expand on?
This is more of a doodle right now...trying to think about how AI will change the future. I need to flesh out the subsections, but I find myself losing interest in this project at times. I don't know what I'm trying to turn it into. Is this interesting? Do you have other thoughts about domains that will be reshaped by AI?
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Until next week,
iamJoshKnox
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Josh Knox
Hi! I am Josh Knox. Read more of me here: 👇
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